she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
