if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Come on in and take your pants off
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