I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize