fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
