Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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