Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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