butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
