i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
How does one acquire holy water?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
