I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
