There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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