Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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