spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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