Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
