Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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