Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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