so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
