Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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