You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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