grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
