margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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