I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
birth control should be required to get into college
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
