singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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