Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
