I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
