Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
