She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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