I wanna bring you to show and tell
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
