So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
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even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
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I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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