Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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