My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
