dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Floor bacon is actually really good
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
