Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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