If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Randomize
