the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
