Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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