finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
