Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
