I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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