I'm really into asian looking animals
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
