Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
