that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
