remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
