The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
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Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
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for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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