i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
