i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize