My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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