i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
