A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
