I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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