South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
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We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
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Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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