You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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