last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
