If i come over, it means nothing
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
