i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
