Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
