I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
