Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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