So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
