I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
