Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
