I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
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I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
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We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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