Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
