We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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