Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
