I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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