btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
