? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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