oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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