we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
